Curiosity, Love, and Letting Go
The other day I was thinking about what I've learned from the very first step into my first pole class until now. Was there one big lesson that encompasses everything else? A lesson that carried over from being a student to a studio owner and instructor. Was there a big "aha!" moment that very first class?
I remember my first class so well. I walked in and the room was full of women of different ages, sizes, perceived levels of fitness, etc. I was excited but slightly terrified. My instructor was well into her 40s. We were a room full of regular women, led by a woman who was an age I'd been raised to think holds no value for women.
But when the light went off and that instructor started moving it was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. In that moment I felt equally ashamed and in awe. Of course I grew up believing I also had an expiration date and should feel dirty and wrong for even wanting to feel sexy or beautiful. It was selfish and silly especially if you were a mother (per my mother-if I get into that we'll be here all day and you all are not my therapists lol).
It wasn't just the instructor I was in awe with. It was everyone in the room. All the different shapes being made by all the differently shaped bodies left me with a feeling of "wow..." instead of any sort of judgement. (I'm still absolutely in awe watching all the cool shapes you all make during classes.)
I left there with my mind blown, thinking "holy fuck we've all been lied to our whole lives".
There were 2 big take aways that night:
1. Every woman is beautiful and unique and amazing in their own way, why have we been trying so hard to fit some bullshit cookie cutter standard of sexiness.
2. Doing "sexy stuff" actually felt pretty liberating and innocent and nurturing, not shameful or dirty.
Ok, I lied there's a 3rd one: It was all much harder than it looks.
It sparked a curiosity in me that hasn't let up. And over the years I've learned the curiosity is what keeps me going and the part of movement I want to bring to you all the most.
The more curious you get in the studio, the more it trickles into the rest of your life. Letting go of what you think something should be or look like or feel like and excitedly exploring what's waiting for you is entirely more amazing than a neatly organized list of goals.
Apart from all the fun cool skills I may have learned along the way, I think one of the biggest things this practice has given me is a vast love and appreciation for other women. No matter what chaos life outside of the studio brings, I'm grateful for this special little hideaway where we come together every week, as is, and move together.
If you made it this far, love you and thank you for reading. Hope to dance with you soon
XOXO,
Andrea
