When you first came to pole, it could have been for a bunch of reasons… a fun new way to exercise, a bachelorette party, to try something new — the list goes on. (In case you missed it, read this post to find out how and why I got into pole!)
No matter what brought you here, what likely keeps you coming back for more is the joy and playfulness that came along with the experience. You found yourself becoming more self-aware and started going through a true-to-you transformation.
Sounds pretty familiar, doesn’t it?
I want to remind you to keep that playfulness and sense of joy in your practice. As you progress, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s really important. We all start to focus on the next trick or big accomplishment that we gotta reach.
“I’m not gonna be good until I learn ____ / accomplish ____ / etc..”
What are you doing with all that time in between now and reaching that goal?! We all tend to stop appreciating the tiny wins along the road to those bigger goals.
This is gonna sound cliché as fuck, but remember your why.
Why did you start pole dancing? What has evolved for you since then? What is true to who you are when you strip away the bullshit; when you strip away the weight of everyone else’s opinions and expectations?
We spend SO MUCH TIME trying to be something for someone else… even on superficial things, like being attractive to someone else. In every aspect of our lives, we’re being something for someone else.
And in the studio, you get to set that aside. You get to turn that attention inward and really savor the opportunity to be who you truly are. You get to take the time to nurture your true self and really step into that! And there’s so much power in knowing who you really are.
If you’re in a room alone — with nobody there to validate you, to judge you, to have an opinion of you — what do you feel? What do you want to express? What do you want to say?
Use your studio time to nurture that, not all of the other bullshit.
This is a space that is safe and non-judgmental. And when we feel safe and seen, that’s when we can start exploring and nurturing who we are. That’s when we go inwards and get deep… that’s when we become who we were meant to be!
There are days that I need a reminder of the joy and playfulness that pole brings, which is why I’m sharing this reminder!
Over the weekend, I attended a summit where I was witnessed and got to watch others be witnessed too. It’s extremely powerful to be witnessed — and it’s much deeper than being seen.
It’s being seen and being honored for who you are at that moment, without expectations. And it’s not about being seen for accomplishments or what you’re doing… it’s who you are, right now, in that moment.
When you experience that, you can really grow and transform.
At the summit, not only was I witnessed, but I got to see others be witnessed too. There's such beauty in that! You get to see how BEAUTIFUL everyone is. Our ideals of beauty and strength are fed by mainstream media (and it’s fuckin’ bullshit — it’s all a fuckin’ lie!); watching everyone over the weekend cut through all of that shit again for me. It was incredible!
When you witness all these beautiful humans doing things that they never thought they’d be able to do, it changes how you see yourself and how you view the world.
So, let me remind you again:
Strip away the bullshit, the expectations. It’s not going to happen overnight — it’s an ongoing process that you take with you. But it’s safe to be yourself and express yourself.
Take the time to learn who you truly are. Honor it! It’s the most precious gift you can give yourself.
We spend so much time trying to give to others and to BE for others… and when that’s turned back inwards and we give it to ourselves — it’s the most precious and important thing you can do.
When’s the last time you checked in with yourself? Like really checked in? Not for skills — a spiritual and emotional check in.
Who gives a shit how many pole tricks you can do if you’re still disconnected?
And I know looking inside is HARD. But I encourage you not to lose sight of the joy and playfulness that drew you to pole. Tap into it — it’s the most important part!
Do a silly dance.
Forget about what you look like — move your body!
… while you’re washing dishes, cooking dinner, or whatever else is included in your daily routine.
And for crying out loud, don’t take yourself so fucking seriously. Have FUN.
Drop what you’re doing and move your body. Notice how good it feels. Observe with kindness. It’s safe. It’s healthy!
Get back to the path of being you.
You’re SO much more than a trick or a big, audacious goal. You’re YOU! And that’s a pretty incredible and beautiful thing, don’t you think?!
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