As humans we can’t help it, we’re going to catch ourselves comparing ourselves to others. We know this is not helpful to our own personal growth and few things can frustrate us or lead us to feeling “less than” faster than comparison. We may feel no matter how hard we try we will never be as (insert word of choice) as someone else.
Your personal journey, whether it be physical skills or sensual reconnection is your own. How could it possibly match anyone else’s. Could you imagine how boring classes (and life) would be if everyone did the exact thing at the exact time all the time?
So what does comparison take from us?
Appreciation: When we get stuck in the comparison trap, the first thing we’re losing is the appreciation for our uniqueness. That energy you’re spending wondering why you can’t ____like someone else is costing you an opportunity to reflect on what makes you special. What is it you do that feels absolutely amazing in your body? You move in ways only you can move, and that is more precious than getting your full splits.
The value in exploration:This may trigger some, but comparison can lead to jealousy which de-values not only your accomplishments, but that of the woman you’re comparing yourself to. Again, we’re human, it happens, but the more we can catch ourselves in these moments the more we can reframe and take back that energy for self exploration.
Embodiment:Comparison will keep you in a performative state and away from embodiment. Read that again. And again. Save it somewhere while you’re at it.
Presence and joy:It can also cost you all the joy of being fully present in your own movement and celebrating your own accomplishments. One more time for the people in the back: You don’t have to keep up with or move like anyone else in the room-as a matter of fact, it’s the opposite of what we try to achieve here.
Authentic connection:Instead of spending time and energy getting deeply acquainted with yourself, comparison will have you trying to keep up with other people-taking you further and further from authentic connection. We spend so much of our lives trying to play the keep up and fit in game (especially when it comes to sexual energy, but more on that soon) -this is a space to leave that at the door. So, the next time you catch yourself having a comparison moment, take a breath, remind yourself you’re a normal human having a normal human feeling, take a moment and reflect on a movement or trick that FEELS really good to you and carry on being your unique badass self.